……My Dad + LOVE……..

2

Posted on January 17,2013 under Uncategorized

Today,  we put our Dad in a nursing home……
Life on this earth….has many, many turns, hills, curves and bumps…
but it truly is our own life on this earth.

If you know me , you know my Dad and I have a different relationship
Than my Mother and I…..
and so I was reading a book ” HOW TO LOVE THEM “…..
and God told me about loving,  genuinely LOVING my Dad from a
pure true love….. I struggled with that…..

No pretense,  no agenda,  none of the past, NOTHING…but
JESUS CHRIST unconditional love….
I sat at Kiser Lake….and God said this :

” YOU CAN’T, Janelle……YOU….can’t love your Dad ”
it literally about stopped me ….
”  BUT, I  ( JESUS )   CAN “…..” LET ME LOVE HIM THROUGH YOU ”

It was so real,  so almost like he was sitting beside me telling me this..
to the point I BELIEVED HIM
to the point I OBEYED HIM

2 weeks later my DAD, needed our intense care.
Jim, my brother and I started a road that I could never read
10 books to learn the deep etched truths in my heart, my life.

To the point…..I have cried over seeing my Dad’s own life unfold.
To the point….of thinking ahead of him, for his needs like I did our Mom.
To the point…that I can stand before God HIMSELF and say…..
” I LOVE MY DAD, with unconditional LOVE”

Is he still Dad ?  you bet, smile….
Am I still Janelle ?   you bet,  smile….some things never change.

But I emptied myself literally  and intentionally….
and let God, continued to ask God…fill me, fill me, fill me with YOUR LOVE
for my DAD, his personality and mine…..fill me with YOUR LOVE.

Today, I kissed my Dad good bye, in a nursing home…..
Asking God, what could I do to change this ?
He said, ” nothing “…….

It is the same nursing home my Mom was at…..
It is a different parent…..
It is the same love of JESUS CHRIST……

I pray someday, that God will give me the chance to speak
This intense lesson…that is burning in my soul…..
” HOW TO LOVE THEM ” ……
I didn’t just read the book, GOD  has etched it in my soul…..
and now I can go to bed tonite……
with no guilt, no shame,  clean before GOD with my DAD.

Thank YOU JESUS,  for this ~  I KNOW YOU HAVE HIM….
I KNOW YOU ARE WITH HIM….

and you helped me love, when I thot I couldn’t.
he will never be my Mom,  but he is my DAD……
and God grew a love, just when we both needed it
and before it was too late…..I can not believe myself this testimony
inside of my life….that I can walk out this next chapter, thank YOU JESUS !
seriously.

Comments posted (2)

Thanks for sharing this. I don’t know all the details and don’t need to, but I can relate to a difficult relationship with your Dad. To God be the glory for giving you this insight and peace. I hope that the remaining time your Dad has here will be sweet. Love you.

This is so, so huge. Praising Jesus with you!!!

Write a comment