I couldn’t put my finger on what was going on in me….
Until this morning….it was a battle from within…
it was a battle inside.

” I have to choose the road of faith”
The whole “after Africa”…. gets to be overwhelming..
to say the least ~ ” in the flesh”

You muster and dig and live in HIM ALONE….
so much, BECAUSE YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW…
” who YOU ARE  NOT ”   ….
out of the blue – last Sunday at S.O. Church..
” Who Am I ”   – Casting Crowns !
Crying like a baby, I knew…I knew who I wasn’t…
but I seen who HE WAS….in Africa , I seen it –
SPIRITUALLY !
Not because of what I’ve done…
but because of who YOU ARE…
Not because of who I am…
but because of what YOU’VE DONE……
and it hit…..YOU KNOW THAT SO DEEPLY…..
( then to find the dubbed CD from
back in the day ” CASTING CROWNS ”
2 days ago ?   only GOD )

and then the needs –
$ 300.00  for mattresses for each inmate who
is sleeping on a dirty worn 1/2 ” piece of foam.
$ 250.00 for Gladys who’s goiter takes her whole neck.
$ 250.00 for lady #2 w/ a huge goiter
$  Marcy’s school fees, the instructor called me yesterday
$  600.00 to send Erick to college for one year..he is SO
smart and desires college so deeply.
$ – “Mum,  the churches, their need, when God allows..
if we can buy them each one acre to plant maize, it will
allow them to help themselves, when God allows ”
$  78,000.00 to supply the hospital to even start up !
( did I mention – I hate money ?  dealing with it,
asking for it….it gives me literal headaches )
and I KNOW who I am…..
Our church prayed over me ” it’s not over….it’s not
over….it’s not over “….. and with all the needs….
Not even touching the spiritual needs….
” never hearing of the rapture?”
” leaders preaching , coming to us, ”
” spiritual warfare to be SEEN on individuals”

today : Rev. 19:1
“… in heaven they shouted, HALLELUJAH !
Salvation and glory and power belong to OUR GOD”
3.  ” And again they shouted:  Hallelujah!
4. “…And they cried:  AMEN , Hallelujah !”
6. “…Hallelujah!  For OUR LORD GOD ALMIGHTY
reigns.”

20 . ” ….The two of them were THROWN ALIVE into
the fiery lake of the burning sulfer. ”

satan and his army is ALIVE – for now.
GOD and HIS ARMY DO and WILL REIGN FOREVER.

I have to admit….I AM WEARY….
I have to admit….I CHOOSE again to cry Hallelujah
I have to admit….I take the turn to the road of FAITH…
to start a new, trusting GOD again…
for THEIR DEEP NEEDS, their
salvations…..their lives….
I have to admit….who am I…..
I will ADMIT….and proclaim ….
” not because of who I am…not because of what I’ve done”
” BUT BECAUSE OF WHO HE IS…
and
BECAUSE OF WHO HE IS…..will VICTORY be won !”

vs. 16 Rev. 19
”  On His robe and on His thigh He has the Name written:
KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS.”

I love that….I LOVE THAT !
I TRUST IN YOU ALONE GOD…for the people
of AFRICA, I TRUST IN YOU ALONE,   GOD !